I am Charles Kovarik and have have 15 years recovery experience. I have helped many men to recovery from addictions to live lives free from the difficulties they’re addiction can present.
Let’s start on a way of life you want to move towards.
Moving through recovery takes time. If you plant an apple seed on monday you can’t expect to pick apples by the end of the week.
Denial is a stealth and subtle occurring in our lives. It comes forward and directs the mind that life (addiction life) as it is happening is the one that “I will get control of one day someday” or “my life really is not that bad”. Denial avoids, uses blame of others or circumstances, claims the right to use, avoids time. DENIAL denies the existence of its own existence. It holds and traps good people in everlasting blindness destroying any chance for healthy change. It will fight viciously for its survival all the way to insanity incarseration and death. It is not threatened by you trying to beat it by yourself, in fact it welcomes it. The last thing it wants is for you to join with others who are dedicated to destroying it.
Looking in the mirror and accepting what we see can be one of the hardest things we ever do. It’s especially hard when the image staring us in the face is painful or doesn’t fit with how we want to see ourselves. Sometimes, the truth is so painful that we avoid it at any cost.
Refusing to accept a painful reality that alters the perception of ourselves is a psychological defense called denial. As human beings, we may use denial to protect ourselves from knowledge, insight or awareness that threatens our self-esteem, mental or physical health, or security.
Contemplation: Building Readiness
There is a myth…in dealing addictive…problems, that more is always better. More education, more intense treatment, more confrontation will necessarily produce more change. Nowhere is this less true than with precontemplators. More intensity will often produce fewer results with this group. So it is particularly important to use careful motivational strategies, rather than to mount high-intensity programs…that will be ignored by those uninterested in changing the…problem behavior… We cannot make precontemplators change, but we can help motivate them to move to contemplation. DiClemente